Voice Over: Coming up live on "The View," the most decorated the U.S. skater ever, Michelle Kwan is showing off some different moves as our celebrity guest co-host. (A clip of Michelle jumping during The Feeling Begins at Nationals is shown) And one out of three women will die of heart disease. So find out lifesaving steps you can take now to protect yourself against the number one killer of women. In a triple dose of hot topics. Plus Bill Maher. And "The View " fans that are putting the hottest new diets to the test are stepping on the scale live and finding out if their hard work is paying off. All that and more next on "The View."

The ladies come out from backstage to a cheering audience. Michelle is in the front of the line. She is wearing a black halter top with yellow and pink butterflies, and black pants. She looks very happy. Behind her is Star Jones, then Meredith Vieira, and finally, Joy Behar. They sit in their chairs behind the desk. From left to right it's Meredith, Starr, Joy, and Michelle. Michelle picks up and then puts down her cards.

Meredith Vieira: A little more, a little more! (Michelle looks at the Michelle Kwan Forum contingent, and smiles. Joy also looks over to the group. At this point, the camera doesn't show the MKFers.) Hello everybody and welcome to "The View." You know Michelle Kwan may be the most decorated figure skater in U.S. History. (Crowd cheers loudly, and then a clear shot of the MKF group is shown) but today she's with us, baby. The ice is thin here. Please welcome our guest co-host Michelle Kwan. (Crowd cheers loudly, the camera does a closeup of Michelle.) Welcome!

Michelle Kwan: Thank you. (She laughs and once again looks towards the MKFers)

MV: Actually, you have so much support here. You have your own personal fan club. Mark, can we get a shot of them.

SJ: Yea! (The camera once again shows the 4 rows of the audience where the MKF group is sitting. The MKFers go crazy, and hold up their signs.)

MK: The MK Forum. They're everywhere! They're everywhere. (A closeup of Susan and Sarah holding up the "We're proud Michelle" MKF sign is shown. And then the camera pans back out to show the full group, and you see barbara's "Michelle is Kwanderful" sign. The ladies are all talking at once, saying "Wow," "That's great," etc.)

MV: It's great. Do they follow you?

MK: When I was in Hong Kong I saw a few of them, and it's... (Everyone laughs)

Joy Behar: The same…?

MV: Michelle…stalkers.

MK: No! (Throws her head back, laughs, and makes a "nah" motion with her hand.)

Star Jones: Now, you should know, we've had lots of major celebrity co-hosts, I don't think I've received as much mail (MKFers laugh) about a celebrity co-host…

MK: Aww!

SJ: …as I have from the Michelle Kwan fan club (LOL, a vent from Heather, it's the MK Forum, not fan club, but whatever.)

MK: I'm a huge fan of The View….

SJ: Stop writing please! (Audience laughs) OK?

MK: …I'm so glad to be here. (Hits her hands on the table to emphasize point.)

MV: Nobody likes to hear the word club and ice skater in the same sentence…

SJ: I know. Woohoo!

MV: …but here it's ok. It's OK.

SJ: She told us it was before her time.

MV: Oh yea

SJ: I tried to get the whole scoop on Tonya Harding. She was like, who? (Michelle laughs)

MV: Exactly.

JB: What I want to hear is that you've recently been to Hong Kong. Have you? (Ladies and audience laugh)

MK: Yea, actually, my…

JB: And do you have a dry cough? (Ladies and audience laugh)

MK: (Shaking head) My grandfather is actually in Hong Kong, and I have an uncle that lives there, but…

JB: Tell them to come here, (Michelle sighs) right away, and stay in the hospital for a while.

MV: What have they been saying? Have you spoken to them about SARS, and the whole thing?

MK: Yea

JB: Scary.

MK: They're not too scared about it. They said, "oh, I wear the mask, (she moves her hand over her mouth) and I take all my precautions, and that's it." But that's all you can do, I guess?

MV: Absolutely

JB: Oh!

MV: Absolutely.

JB: Well, the World Health Organization has lifted the, this ban from Toronto, which is what I was saying just the other day, so…

MV: Once they heard The View, they obviously…

JB: They heard me, they heard me.

SJ: They are watching the show, absolutely.

JB: Now, last night, I went to see Bill Maher, who is a guest on the show today. You know, Politically Correct, and now he's on HBO doing his show. And he was hilarious. I really would recommend that you go see the show. It's very political, it's very funny.

MV: Which is what you love.

JB: I love it. And he really just nails the whole situation that we're in, you know. But, he also talks about sex, you know, duh. (Ladies and audience laugh) And he was talking about, how, and this I couldn't, I have to ask him later, but I wanted to bring it up to the girls. He says that men have these more sexual fantasies. I won't even say what they are, because they are disgusting. (Some laughter) And, uh, but women, they're going in slow motion in the park. And you know, they're planting tulips. And then, maybe there's an actual sexual act in this fantasy. I don't know, is that true?

SJ: What women does he know?

MV: Yea, really. (Laughter) I'm fantasizing that the kids don't walk in in the middle of it, that's what I'm fantasizing about.

MK: I don't even want to know what the men fantasy about.

JB: You don't?

MK: Yea, it's…

SJ: Parks and stuff like that? There are kids and pollen.

--Starr, Joy, and Meridith talk more about this, but since it's long, and Michelle doesn't say anything, I'll leave that part out, and cut back in when Michelle chimes in--

JB: You're drinking wine in the park, you're running around in the park, you're taking clothes off…

MK: You take the first step, and then there's more, right?

JB: Right. What about foreplay? See, this is what men leave out in their fantasies, the foreplay. They go right to the entree. That's wrong. (Ladies and audience laugh) You need an appetizer.

SJ: Wait a minute, wait a minute, I can't resist. I'm on a diet. I don't need the appetizer. Go straight on the entree.

MK: Right to the desert, I say. (Laughs)

JB: I know what you were doing last night.

SJ: You know exactly what I was doing. I was watching American Idol. That is my show. (Audience and Michelle applauds) And I got a partner in crime here (points to Michelle.) Cause Michelle Kwan and I…

MK: Aww, Ruben. (Brings arms to her heart)

SJ: We love Ruben. Don't we love Ruben?

MK: Aww, big hug. (Makes a big hugging motion.)

SJ: But, you know, it's getting down to the wire, you guys.

MV: How many are left?

SJ: There are five left. One will be dumped tonight.

MV: Tonight.

SJ: And, um, who do you have your money on as geting out? (This is said directly to Michelle.)

MK: I would say Josh. (Shakes her head yea.)

SJ: Josh is about to go?

MK: Yeah.

JB: Which one is he?

MV: Oh the marine?

SJ: Yea.

MK: He's cute but…

SJ: Yea, he's definitely abot to go.

MK: He just looked so nervous yesterday.

SJ: They were not very nice to him last night.

MK: Yea

SJ: They were a little critical. But, everything is stepped up. The top 50,000 people came before these last five. And it's really about who's going to sell some records when it's all over. I think Ruben would sell the most records.

MK: Yea

SJ: I'd buy his record.

MV: Are you talking about the commercial

SJ: Yea, you know, it's not American Broadway. It's American Idol for pop.




JB: But they bought Madonna's albums based on her videotapes, I think, more than on her voice or singing.

SJ: You think?

JB: Yeah. I think they bought it based on her whole persona.

MK: Well, I bought Madonna's CDs just because I think she's got a great personality, she's crazy, and you're just interested in what she has to say.

JB: Yeah, but that's image, though, and not talent...

MV: But all of Ruben is great, I don't think his body size is a negative at all.

JB: Neither do I, but that's where they're at...

SJ: (smiling) I'll take Barry White any day of the week.

JB: Barry White, I love him. He never sings, he just talks for days. (laughter) He goes "Baby, you know what I'm going to do to you, baby?" You're doing it already! (laughter) He goes "Baby, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to take you and..." Come on, already! (laughter)

SJ: (laughing) You were talking about foreplay.

JB: I know, but there's a limit. (changing subject, she holds up newspaper) This is a couple that I saw in the papers today, Calista and Harrison are in the paper. Did you see this? Okay, here's the thing about it that killed me. (she reads from newspaper) "Acting power couple Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart arrived at the Pierre Hotel yesterday, sponsored by City Harvest to benefit New York's hungry." (laughter)

SJ: Don't do it...

JB: Does this girl think she's getting a lifetime achievement award here? (laughter)

SJ: She's not hungry.

MK: She looks so healthy. (picture of Harrison and Calista is shown)

SJ: She really does look beautiful.

MK: I like them together, they're cute.

JB: Honey, if she had a meatball, she'd look pregnant. (laughter)

MK: She's beautiful.

JB: Look, she's a gorgeous girl in the Audrey Hepburn genre, but, to raise money for the hungry? Come on. (laughter)

SJ: She's not hungry.

JB: (smiling) I love it!

SJ: I knew you couldn't resist.

JB: Who else?

MV: That's it.

JB: That's it? What about Al Pacino and Winona Ryder, they're also a couple. You have anything to say about that?

SJ: None whatsoever.

JB: Did you know they were going together? (audience groans)

JB: Look, the audience is upset.

SJ: Everyone needs love. What the world needs now is love.

JB: I think that he will help her, because if she gets caught in Saks again, he can say "Just when you thought they were out, they pulled you back in" (laughter)

MV: All right. It's better that she should steal his heart than to steal merchandise.

JB: Yeah.

MV: All right. Joy has to get, oh, I'm embarrassed to say this, she has to get a big old mole removed and it's in a really bad place.

JB: (laughing) I can't believe that setup, that was horrible!

MV: It's pretty ugly and all. We'll be right back.


MV: All right, Joy, I understand that you have a mole that needs to be removed. Share.

JB: Well, it's not one mole. It seems like there are dozens of them. But they're in my yard, under the ground. (laughter) She thought she (pointing to Meredith) was cute, right, making it like it was all over my body.

MV: (laughs) Don't blame me, I'm the messenger.

MK: I was going to say, you do (have a mole).

MV: Yeah, you do.

JB: I do have this one (points to mole on her neck), but I can't have that removed either, because I'm too scared... So, the exterminator came, because you know, he's on retainer, and I have, you know, all sorts of animals in my ...

SJ: She has voles, and moles, and possums...

MV: You're in the country, animals live in the country...

JB: And he said to me, "We have to kill your moles, because they're tearing up your lawn," and I said, "No, I can't."

MV: Good.

JB: And I found out that they're blind. It's their little canes... (laughter) They're blind... I can't kill the little moles. What about you, Star?

SJ: You just want me to say that I'd kill the moles. (laughter) You want me to act like I'm Cruella de Ville. I'm wearing black and white today, right? ... (more seriously) I mean, is it bad? Did the exterminator say that...

JB: He said we should do it. I have a picture of them. Wait till you see what they look like.

SJ: Okay, let me see what they look like... (picture of cute mole is shown, eliciting awwws)

MV: That's sweet.

SJ: (defiantly) They gotta go.

MV: There must be alternatives to killing them, which you can check into first.

SJ: What are you going to do, put them on a bus and send to the next town? (laughter)

JB: You know what, it's a good thing that they're blind, because if they ever saw what they looked like, they would kill themselves. (laugher)

MK: You know what they remind me of, you know that game at Chuck E. Cheese, where the moles pop up and you hammer them in... (makes cute hammering gesture)

MV: Yeah!

MK: That's what they look like. Are you going to take that little hammer and go... (makes cute hammering gesture)

SJ: No hammering, that's bad. (laughter)

MV: Gas them, that's okay, just gas them... We had an infestation of squirrels in our house in the attic, a lot of squirrels. They came up with these cages. They would catch them and they would take them out into the woods, and release them.

SJ: Do they come back?

MV: Well, they take them far away to someone else's area. (laughter)

SJ: (looking at Joy) Give me an alternative, if there are little cages for them, I'll say fine.

JB: No, there is no alternative. They're either dead, or your lawn is all torn up.

SJ: You know what's so interesting, I don't have them. They must know. (laughter) They know, that she (referring to herself) is not to be messed with.

MV: (looking at Joy) Do you have ants? Do you kill ants?

JB: (shakes head) I don't have ants.

SJ: I used to have ants.

MK: I have lots of ants.

MV: Now, there is a law in Germany, if you kill ants, you know, an ant hill or a subterranean ant nest, they will fine you, it is against the law.

JB: The Germans are so compassionate to animals. (laughter)

MV: You have to move the ant hill into the forest, because they have nature preservation laws, and the ants actually eat the bad insects that normally you use pesticides on, because pesticides are not environmentally safe.

SJ: (incredulously) What?

MV: I think it's a good thing. What's wrong with that?

SJ: It's just something weird about Germany. (laugher) Let's move the ants... Anytime Germany is moving any group of anything anywhere, I'm a little nervous, okay? (laughter)

MV: (changing subject) Okay, I actually have an announcement, remember last week when we showed you how to auction online, The View mug, remember we put that up, well it fetched almost $3000 for UNICEF. (applause) Linda Daugherty had the winning bid. Someone actually bid $1009.99 on eBay. That's Linda Daugherty. Elaine Buckingham paid $995 bucks on Amazon, and Eve Johnson forked over $999 on Yahoo!.

JB: So three people, basically came up with all the money.

MV: But thank you all so much for your generous donations, we greatly appreciate it.

MV: (changing subject) You know what, I know, you all have your own personal problems, we all do, and I hate to put this weight on you, but most of you in this audience are actually addicts. And this is true, according to a recent Harris Poll, over 90% of women admit that they have soft addictions, like over-eating, impulse shopping, and watching too much TV. But the number one soft addiction is procrastination.

JB: I have a soft addiction, I'm attracted to Bob Dole. (laughter) No, seriously, I'm sorry, go ahead...

MV: You know we have these addictions, but, women outlive men by almost five years now, part of it is because men don't go to the doctors as much as the women do, and they're more likely to be in prison or homeless or using illegal drugs, and when you come to men of color, the discrepancy is even bigger. This is actually disturbing: white women outlive black men by almost twelve years. The health officials are calling it a major crisis.

MK: I have one theory.

JB: What?

MK: It's the menstrual cycle that makes the woman live longer. That's my theory.

JB: Why?

MK: I don't know. It cleanses, and it's kind of like exfoliating, and...

JB: It's exfoliating? (laughter)

MK: (laughing) I think I'm leaving now. (gestures to leave)

SJ: So, what are we, snakes, we get rid of our skin...

MK: Yeah!

MV: So what happens when we stop, then?

MK: Well...

JB: We don't. (laughter)

MV: So maybe she's saying that we got all that built up exfoliation, so that's why we have those extra years.

SJ: (in agreement) So that gives us the extra years.

JB: (looking at MK) What if you're exfoliating while you're skating? (laughter)

MK: You'll live really really long! But I don't think the judges will really like it though...

JB: (looking at MK) Do you think the ice has preserved you all these years? (laughter)

MK: That is what my coach always said, you know, the cold...

JB: (looking at MK in admiration) She is the cutest thing!

SJ: (in amazement) She can jump up in the air, three times, and come down, and not fall, that's the craziest thing I've ever heard!

(thunderous applause from audience, camera zooms into MKF section)

MK: (smiling) We should take skating lessons sometime, all of us...

SJ: I mean, to do that, or hit a baseball... or pole-vaulting, those are the three...

MV: (looking at Star) Where did you come up with those three?

SJ: No, I saw it! (looking at Viewmaster) Pole-vaulting, can you pole-vault? Shut-up. (laughter) I read it in the newspaper, honestly! Jerry, our researcher, will you pull this? They did a whole thing on the hardest things that you can do: hit a baseball, and pole-vaulting, and several other things. Y'all need to read more. (laughter)

MV: Okay, Jerry is going to pull that right now. (changing subject) Okay, something serious now, women can live even longer if they took care of their hearts, because heart disease, I think you know it, is the number one killer. If you don't, then you need to know it. Dr. Goldberg joins us with some life-saving tips when we come back with even more hot topics. (applause)


MV: It is on the cover of this weeks Time magazine, Heart Disease is the number one killer of women in America. In fact it claims the lives of more women than any form of cancer, yet only 8% of American women realize it. Why? And what can we do to guarantee ourselves a healthy heart. Well hear to help us out is Dr. Nieca Goldberg author of Women are not Small Men. Welcome to you Dr. Goldberg

Dr. Nieca Goldberg: Thank you (Applause)

MV: First of all, why are so many women unaware of the threat facing them, heart disease?

NB: Because most women think their greatest health threat is either breast cancer, ovarian cancer or osteoporosis

MV: and why is that

NB: Because for a long time, even the medical community has promoted heart disease as a man's disease. I remember back in medical school, I would sit in class and they would tell me the typical patient having a heart attack is a 165 pound businessman clutching his chest.

JB: Type A

NB: Type A

JB: Type A personality

NB: Type A , businessman. And when I went into medical practice I found out not only was it incorrect, but in medical school they eliminated 50% of the population. but the women would have heart disease and they often wouldn't have the symptoms of chest pressure, they would have shortness of breath without any pain at all. Or pressure lower down in the chest. One of my patients had some pressure lower down in her chest, she's only in her forties. She went to spinning class thought she had a stomach ache, got off the bike, didn't get any better, went to the hospital, and found out she had a heart attack. Or sometimes they have upper pressure in their back of very low levels of

MV: So because the symptoms are different and women have never been taught what the symptoms are to look out for, they wouldn't even know if they were suffering from any kind of…..

NB: That's right

JB: Did it have anything to do with the spinning class? (Laughter)

MK: That's what…

NB: No It had a lot to do with the fact she was a smoker and she had a high stress job.

SJ: And interestingly enough I looked at some of the other things, there's naeausa, and dizziness, that could also be a problem. You talked about lower chest discomfort but upper abdominal…

NB: upper abdominal, lower chest sometimes, it's hard the location could be the same. It's a lot less threaten or less scary to think about having a stomach ache than it is heart attack. But I think women need to know these symptoms because if we, women know the symptoms and sort of what they can do about their hearts, that'll prevent them from having a heart attack in the future.

JB: Well, there's a genetic connection too, I mean. my mother

NB: absolutely

JB: My mother had her first heart attack when she was fifty and umm so I'm a caniadtae for it

NB: That's right

JB: That's why I watch my cholesterol

NB: that's right, if you have a family history of heart disease, you increase your risk by 25%to 50%. My father had heart disease when he was early so I became keenly aware of how to prevent heart disease.

MV: But You say also women in different age groups there are things they can specifically do to reduce the risk so

MK: Like at age 20, I'm like I don't think of heart disease or heart attack

NB: that's right, that's the last thing you are going to think about especially for someone like you who exercises and is very healthy. But most women don't realize that when you're twenty, you should be having your first cholesterol test. So we'll know early on what your cholesterol is.

MK: what I read, 50% of a chance more likely to die of a first heart attack I don't understand why umm, women it says right here that women usually die… wait, women has a heart attack there's a 50% chance more likely than a man

JB: that she will die

MK: yea, 50% why's that?

NB: Believe it or not half the women having heart attacks in out country don't even make it to the hospital because their first symptom is total collapse. And that could have been prevented, because many of them have risk factors for heart disease that should have been picked up earlier, like smoking and high blood pressure

MV: So in your twenties your saying get the cholesterol test, I'm in my thirties what should I be doing? (Audience laughs)

SJ: First thing you should do is not be delusional (Laughter)

MV: that's what's keeping me healthy

NB: When you're in your thirties you start to pick up family responsibilities and things like that and you start to take less care of yourselves. And so you slack off on exercise and that's something you have to be careful about not doing. The other thing is women who are in their thirties and have a hysterectomy early on are at a higher risk of heart disease, they should really get some baseline testing and be counseled by their doctors. Unfortunately most of the studies have show that when women go to their doctors, doctors only counsel them about exercise 30% or diet or getting their cholesterol checked 30% of the time. If your doctor doesn't talk to you about it, what you need to do is ask for it.

SJ: Dr. Goldberg I'm 40 and overweight African-American women, so I am very clear that I'm in the risk factors

NB: that's right, you have a higher risk of having heart disease but women over the age of 45 in our country about half the women over that age have high blood pressure

SJ: and I don't Dr. Goldberg: that's good. and if they go to the doctor and get medication for their blood pressure sometimes they have side effects because like the book says women are not small men, the dosages need to be downsized a bit, and sometimes women just stop taking the medicine without telling their doctors and so their blood pressure is still high.

SJ: So watch your blood pressure is a big deal

NB: so watch your blood pressure and also the tendency to gain weight around the middle that's highly associated with having high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes.

JB: OK what happens when you're in your fifties and you stop exfoliating. (Everyone laughs)

NB: we need to eliminate this misperception that you're guaranteed to have a heart attack at menopause because of lack of estrogen, that's not true, because if you've been taking care of yourself this time by getting your risk factors checked you can prevent a heart attack

JB: that was the big scandal with the estrogen replacement, it doesn't help your heart at all, they've been giving us a line of bull

NB: That's right and promoting this one stop shopping for women's health. You know what if there are so many risk factors, it's not even unreasonable to think that one pill can take care of it. But if you're fifty and you haven't been checked out and had your cholesterol and blood pressure checked and you're actually thinking of starting an exercise program, your doctor, and you've never exercised before, your doctor should probably do a stress test on you, an exercise test….

MV: I think with hormone replacement is that as the research catches up they realized things that they thought were correct years ago are no longer correct

JB: they're not saying it's useless for everything except hot flashes that's the only reason to take it and it and it might even hurt you.

MV: I think the message here to is women need to educate themselves, the medical profession needs to educate itself and until then we have to be proactive as women

NB: they have the power to make the change

MV: absolutely. Our Thanks to Nieca Goldberg, we'll be right back with Bill Maher.


I still need to add the Bill Maher segment


Michelle wasn't on the stage for the segment on dieting, so no need for a transcript of this section


MV: And welcome back… Did you have fun Michelle?

MK: I had a great time.

MV: You were great. (Audience cheers and applauds) Right on the (cheering muffles the rest of what she is saying.) And Star was right. The most difficult sport.

SJ: USA Today wanted the most difficult sport #3 pole vaulting #6 landing a quad!!! Thank you very much! (Audience cheers)

MV: (Audience applauding) Be sure to watch Michelle Kwan on the ongoing Champions On Ice tour through June 1st. Tomorrow Janine Garafalo, my celebrity wedding, and Bernie Mac. Have a great day enjoy The View!

Huge thanks to LaTasha, torialynne, and Sunnyskate for helping me with this transcript!

Check out amethystbatgirl's screencaptures from the interview. Also, check out Susan's, katializ's, and livia's pictures from the show.

Watch a real video clip of the interview, courtesy of Cruella De Kwan!

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